There are three different points in a typical divorce process when the gett is given:
- At the beginning, even before there is an agreement on the terms of the divorce.
- At the end, once the terms of the divorce are finalized.
- Hybrid: the gett is constructed by the husband and deposited with the Beis Din, which is then empowered to deliver it to the wife at its own discretion.
Which timeline will apply to any one particular divorce depends on the specific minhagim of the community and that Beis Din, as well as concerns relating to the circumstances of the couple's divorce.
The Case for Giving the Gett Early
The thinking behind giving a gett at the beginning of the process is straightforward: getting the gett off the table early prevents it from becoming a bargaining chip or a source of leverage in the rest of the negotiation.
The Case for Waiting Until the End
There is strong halachic precedent that the preferable approach is to give the gett only after everything else has been resolved, meaning after custody has been determined and all property, support, and maintenance issues have been settled. This mirrors how civil divorce generally works as well: courts typically don't finalize a civil divorce until the substantive issues in the case have been worked out.
The thinking here is that a couple who have not settled their affairs should not be able to close that chapter of their lives. Some have observed that in cases where the gett is given earlier, it can take longer to reach an agreement on the terms of the divorce.
Takeaway
Neither approach is generally wrong or right, assuming the timeline you are being given is in line with your community customs. It should be noted that while gett refusal does happen, it is rare, and the vast majority of getts are given and received according to an appropriate timeline. Any concerns about the timing of the gett in your specific case should be brought up privately with your Beis Din or mediator.
Information Tailored to Your Role
Understand your options and take control of the process.