In a Jewish divorce, the Beis Din can be involved in two separate areas. The first is the formal dissolution of the marriage through the arrangement of the gett. The second is dispute resolution, working through the whole range of disagreements a couple typically has to resolve in a divorce, from financial issues to custody and everything in between. It should be noted that one does not need to go to Beis Din for dispute resolution and can work an agreement out with an independent mediator as well.
How a Case Gets Started: The Hazmana
The dispute resolution process begins with a hazmana: one spouse contacts the Beis Din and asks it to summon the other spouse to participate in the process. If you're the one receiving a hazmana, it should be taken seriously. It means you're going to need to respond, and the right mindset going in is one of cooperation rather than confrontation.
The Seruv: What It Is and When It's Used
A seruv (the word literally means refusal) is something a Beis Din issues when a party is non compliant, whether that's ignoring a summons or refusing to follow a course of action the Beis Din has laid out. A responsible Beis Din doesn't issue a seruv lightly or indiscriminately, and the community at large should take one seriously when it is issued. A seruv is properly used to encourage cooperation, or to prompt a party to respond to a summons, and it's appropriate specifically when a refusal is without cause and the Beis Din judges the refusing party to be unreasonable.
Mediation/Arbitration
Once the spouse who received the hazmana is ready to move forward and lets the Beis Din know, the case can proceed down one of two paths. The first is mediation, where the Beis Din helps facilitate a conversation between the parties aimed at reaching a settlement. The second is arbitration, known as a Din Torah. In practice, most Batei Din will require a couple engage in some form of mediation before holding a Din Torah. All reputable Batei Din will have a couple sign an agreement at the beginning that authorizes the Beis Din to rule on their case. Usually this is a mediation/arbitration agreement that states the parties will mediate in good faith and the Beis Din will arbitrate on issues they cannot come to an agreement on. An agreement must be signed at the outset in order for the Beis Din's ruling to be valid in civil court.
In a Din Torah, the parties bring their dispute before a panel of dayanim acting as arbitrators. Each side presents their arguments, evidence, and perspective, and the dayanim are then empowered to issue a decision. Because the parties have signed a binding arbitration agreement at the outset, that decision is generally binding, issued in writing, and enforceable through the civil courts if either party files it there.
It's worth knowing that not every issue can be arbitrated in every state, and the rules vary. Financial issues are generally arbitrable everywhere, and courts will adhere to a Beis Din's decision on those matters. Custody is a different story depending on where you live: in New York, a Beis Din's custody decision isn't binding on the courts, even though the Beis Din may still issue a decision. In other states, like New Jersey, custody actually can be arbitrated, and as long as the process meets certain requirements, the courts will respect the decision of the arbitrator (the Beis Din) on custody.
Hosting the Whole Case
One of the benefits of going to a Beis Din is that they can host all aspects of the case, including the gett. Many continue supporting families after the divorce is finalized: advocating for the children, helping with school placement, and in some cases even offering shidduch recommendations down the line.
Information Tailored to Your Role
Understand your options and take control of the process.